Saturday, November 9, 2013

Where Do I Fit In?

As you know, I placed Micah when I was 17. 17 is a big stage in your life. For mine, it was my senior year of high school so I was keeping tabs on the people I wanted to stay in touch with when I went away to college.

I was expecting to be there for 4 years, so I wasn't too concerned with who I'd hang out with if I was home. As luck would have it, I failed out my freshman year.  E-town here I come!  It was weird being home.... people I went to high school with were home for the summer, going to parties, hanging out at HersheyPark, going to the beach, just living life! I sooo wanted to enjoy and be with them, but no one wants to hang out with the mopey sad girl who "gave up" her baby. To them, Micah was pretty much dead. If they couldn't see him or hold him, they didn't care. 

Long story short, over that summer I found myself hanging out with more of my "teen mom" friends. But I didn't fit in. Ijourneyed back over to my "college" friends. But I didn't fit in. I wasn't away at college but I wasn't taking care of my child, either. 

It's still difficult for me to find groups of friends where I really do fit in. I still feel as if I'm not 100% sure where I stand..

Have any of you felt like an "outsider" to people you were, at one point, friends with, post adoption?





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